Finally, I appreciated her ability to synthesize the attachment literature and bring the early attachment researchers work to life. Keeping Your Love Alive—This last conversation is built on the understanding that love is a continual process of losing and finding emotional connection; it asks couples to be deliberate and mindful about maintaining connection. We need no longer wander around in the darkness, stumbling from one disastrous relationship to another. Being in balance allows us to move in many directions easily and this have more ways of responding to and dancing with others. They have moved from disconnection to connection in two simple steps.
By the way, there is no science in love or even sex! Hän muun muassa ehdottaa, että osa siitä 641 miljoonasta dollarista, joka Amerikassa vuosittain käytetään tupakoinnin vastaiseen kampanjointiin, voitaisiin ohjata yksinäisyyden ehkäisemiseen. They tend to view their relationships as workable and are open to learning about love and loving. Even better, it is malleable, repairable, and durable. Niinpä luonto on ohjelmoinut ihmisaivot niin, että lapsen ja äidin välille syntyy vahva, molemminpuolinen side. Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Secure people see themselves as generally competent and worthy of love, and they see others as trustworthy and reliable. This is stuff that everyone should learn and know.
I read this book because it was recommended to me by someone who found it extremely helpful, so maybe this book will be that thing for you too. We lapse into depression and anxiety. Technique is prized; openness and vulnerability shunned. Sue Johnson creates fascinating connections between cutting-edge research and therapeutic applications, and provides scores of engaging cases and exercises. Even better, we can shape it. Bowlby proposed that we are designed to love a few precious others who will hold and protect us through the squalls and storms of life.
Johnson has received numerous honours for her work, including the Outstanding Contribution to the Field of Couple and Family Therapy Award from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and the Research in Family Therapy Award from the American Family Therapy Academy. The bonds of love are our birthright and greatest resource. The Dalai Lama conjures up images of his mother when he wants to stay calm and centered. She specifically speaks to the kinds of bonds formed between adults and their lovers. Monogamy is not only possible, it is our natural state.
For her, love is the hard won endowment of our evolutionary history and a source of hope a world of uncertainty and danger. The tone of the book was also entirely suitable both in terms of the subject matter she was trying to convey, and audience she was trying to convince. Read this book and learn how to create a life that is a safe haven for love. Sue Johnson is a world-renowned expert in the field of couples therapy. They are just normal people, like you and me, who have found the answers and made it work. This is an especially trying time for women, many of whom became deeply unhappy and even clinically depressed.
It is to seek contact and comforting connection. A whiff of oxytocin increases our tendency to trust and engage with others in a less defensive, more empathetic way. What about the argument that passion is impossible to sustain over the years? They set us up for openness and learning. Secure relationships and more compassionate partners make for more secure and caring citizens, who are more tolerant of those who are not like them. Gottman, PhD, author of What Makes Love Last? Reviews This book is an absolute must for anyone who wants to understand how Love Makes Sense.
What remarkable research in the field of relationships. Sue Johnson creates fascinating and enlightening connections between cutting-edge research, professional applications of research in marital therapy, and scores of apt case examples and engaging exercises for people who struggle with relationship difficulties. Dependency is a dirty word in Western society. Primatologist Frans de Waal calls it the 'invisible hand' that reaches out to others. But it is true that the more secure we are, the less we will get caught in negative patterns, such as demand-withdraw, tht feed insecurity.
The ability to find this balance is the most basic lesson we learn or not! This is stuff that everyone should learn and know. Monogamy is not a myth. Patients who have coronary bypass surgery are three ties more likely to be alive 15 years later—if they are married. Neuroscience is highlighting what we have perhaps always known in our hearts - loving human connection is more powerful than our basic survival mechanism: fear. It is secure attachment, what Nature set us up for, that makes love persist. Hold Me Tight—The heart of the program: this conversation moves partners into being more accessible, emotionally responsive, and deeply engaged with each other. I intend for it to help you find your way to more fulfilling and lasting love.
Such books are often either a tired rehash of old material, or a deeper dive into a few specialized issues but without enough connective tissue. I did enjoy learning more about attachment theory, and seeing that theory, usually spoken about in terms of parenting, applied to adult romantic bonds. With genuine enthusiasm and admirable clarity, she shows how emotion-focused therapy, guided by attachment theory and research, can heal troubled relationships while benefiting society more generally. We need to take care of the planet we live on, and guard the ecological niche we occupy -- close connection with others. Direct costs: food, housing and healthy care for needy single-parent families and child-support enforcement. The dominant message is that creating a rewarding and enduring romantic relationship is impossible. Hip prophesied a 'time of turning the earth over.
Seeking out and giving support are so vital to human beings that social psychologists Mario Mikulincer and Phil Shaver observe that, rather than being called Homo sapiens, one who knows, we should be named Homo auxiliator vel accipio auxilium, one who helps or receives help. I liked that the author talked about how being together is like a dance - the dancers will misstep; but: When we love, we are always sensitive and vulnerable. A wonderful, uplifting, energizing book. The next step is clinging and seeking. Forgiving Injuries—Injuries may be forgiven but they never disappear. A couple enters the third stage, Mature Love, usually when the last child is ready to leave home. Feeling protected gives them the freedom to explore and be sexually adventurous.